American Idol: Outsiders Style!
by RockerLane1110
Summary: Hi! It's Xena W. Princess, host of American Idol: Outsiders Style! where your favorite Greasers will sing parodies of your favorite songs! Special Guests! Note: We are borrowing Johnny and Dally from the afterlife for this.[ON HIATUS]
1. Three Judges and a Host

**American Idol: Outsiders Style!**

**Chapter One- Three Judges and a Host**

**A/N: I do watch American Idol and I love that show! I am so weird. I don't exactly like the latest winners but I do vote. I'm super weird. I think I might need to stop watching it so much since I need more time for more important things (Cough other stuff cough cough) Anyways, I made this up for no apparent reason other than I thought it would be funny. If you don't think it is, go to another parody. And some of the characters from my other story, Someone to Lean On, will appear here just to let people know. Now let's get the show started!**

Disclaimer: I do not own "The Outsiders" or "American Idol."

* * *

The executive producer, RockerLane1110, is frantically getting everyone ready for the broadcasting of American Idol: Outsiders Style! for many fans are eagerly awaiting it's debut. 

"Okay, does everyone have their song memorized? Are your costumes on? Are they appropriate? Is everyone ready? Don't be nervous everyone. It's just that millions of people will be seeing you and I don't want anything to go wrong, which means no one can screw up. Got it? Got it!"

"Geez, Anna, calm down," says Carly who is making a last head count of the contestants seeing if anyone was trying to back down.

"Okay, everyone. Before we go on, we need to do a few scales," says Jay. "La la la la la la la la la la la." All seven of the Greasers participate.

"We need to get on with this, you know," RL1110 said.

The cameraman got everything ready and soon the "American Idol" theme song was playing.

"Everyone in your places!" says the frantic RL1110. Finally the show has begun.

"Hi, Xena W. Princess, host of American Idol: Outsiders Style! where your favorite Greasers will sing some of your favorite songs!" says the fifteen-year-old host. She's dressed in ripped jeans, a Good Charlotte shirt, and has wristbands and rubber bracelets on her wrists. She has black hair, which at the moment is a mess because she woke up late and forgot to go to the stylist before going onstage. Imagine RockerLane1110's reaction.

"We have a great show for you today, but first, let me introduce you to our three judges!" Spotlight goes on the three teenagers at the judges' table. Randy, Paula, and Simon were too busy doing American Idol 5 to participate in this. Whatever.

"First off, we have Randy Adderson, football player, and well-known Soc!" The audience cheers but there are a few boos heard in the crowd. Randy gives a cocky wave to the audience.

"Next, we have the wonderful and thoughtful, Cherry Valence!" A red-haired Soc smiles from her chair to everyone and the cheers are even louder.

"Finally, we have the black haired bad boy Soc, Robert Sheldon!" The black haired Soc glares at Xena W. Princess.

"Hey, it's Bob!" Bob has on a super tight black shirt like a certain British judge from American Idol. There are many boos in the crowd and a few cheers.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, we've got some great performances coming up!"

"What the heck are you wearing? Are you some kind of Gothic Greaser?" Bob said. Xena looks at him annoyed that he dared to interrupt her speech.

"I will take that 'Gothic Greaser' remark as a compliment. At least I don't look like somebody who does their shopping at Children's Place! How tight is that shirt on you?" Cheers come from the crowd.

"WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!" the crowd yells. Xena bows down as she accepts the applause from her fellow fans.

"Thanks you, thank you everybody! Now we seriously need to get on with the show." The Greaser contestants arrive on stage as Xena names them off to introduce them.

"We have Darry!  
Dally!  
Two-Bit!  
Sodapop!  
Steve!  
Johnny!  
And Ponyboy!"

The crowd whoops and cheers and someone goes up on stage and runs up to Johnny and says, "I love you Johnnycake!" Then she gives the gang's pet a wet (and I mean wet) kiss on the cheek.

"Uhhh, you know we kind of need him for the show. Can you wait until after to make out with your love?" Xena says trying to get the crazed fan off the stage.

"NO! I need to be with Johnny!" the fan screams. Suddenly, more fans run up the stage and attack the greasers.

"We love you Soda!"

"We love you Steve!"

We love you Two-Bit!"

"WE LOVE YOU PONYBOY!" Why do all of these people look like members on is getting mauled down by a bunch of teenage girls.

"Hey, you broads get offa me! Hey get off! My arm don't bend that way! I got a heater here!"

"Aw, we know it's not loaded Dallas!" a fan informs him.

"Dang it! You weren't s'pose to know that!"

"Hey! Any love for me?" Bob calls out to the mob. It is silent for a moment as the mob stands still and stares at Bob. Bob waits for a mob of girls to attack him. "I'm waiting!" The mob resumes to attacking the greasers and pay no more attention to Bob.

"Sorry, Rob, I guess the greasers are just more tuff than you," Xena says unapologetic.

"It's Bob, you Gothic Greaser!" Bob says defeated. The crowd is still going at the Greasers.

"Help! Somebody! Anybody!" Ponyboy yells. A bunch of girls in Abercrombie and Shit… I mean Fitch, go up to "save" him.

"We'll save you!" they say. Ponyboy knows what they're real plan is.

"Uh, somebody else? Guys? RockerLane? Carly? Anybody?" Ponyboy calls.

The mob is turning into a riot and there is no self-control as the crazed fans claw for their favorite book characters.

"Hey, they're not just book characters!" a fan calls out.

Cherry looks at Xena waiting for her to do something. Xena is watching the riot from the judges' table enjoying it like a movie.

"Ahem," Cherry says.

"What?" Xena says.

"Shouldn't you do something here?" Cherry says.

"Oh, right. SECURITY!" Xena yells at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, Anna's friend, Kayleigh, comes out in her Level 27 sweatshirt. We decided not to make her wear the stupid security vest.

"Okay people! Get off those greasers now! Or else…" Kayleigh never finished her sentence because then some people from the crowd started screaming their heads off.

"Ahhhh! The police are here! I can't get arrested!" they yelled.

"Uhhh… I'm a security guard people. Not a police officer."

"Ahhhh! It's a Gothic police officer." This was probably based on the fact that Kayleigh was wearing black and… yeah. In other words, she knew better than to wear a pink frilly dress. **(Ugh, why the hell did I say that?) **

"Okay, everyone just go back and…" Kayleigh was, yet again, interrupted by the screaming girls. You know what, forget it." Then Kayleigh started taking the girls by the collar and dragging them to their seats.

"Ahhh! Carpet burn!" one person says as Kayleigh drags her to her seat.

"Suck it up," Kayleigh says. Soon the fans are all going to their seats willingly. At least, after they gave each of the greasers one more hug. A big, suffocating hug.

"Can't. Breath," Johnny says as one girl is hugging him to death. Kayleigh pulls her off.

"You know, some of these preppy girls are making me sick," Kayleigh says to Xena after she gets everyone to settle down.

"Hey!" Rugrats101 **(Yeah, Rugrats101, I put you in the audience) **said from the audience. "I'm no prep!"

"I didn't say everyone was!" Kayleigh said.

"Well, now that everything has settled down, let's begin…" Xena started before Jay interrupted her.

"Hey, what happened here?" Jay asked. Carly, who was watching the scene the whole time, responded.

"You didn't hear the riot?"

"What riot?"

"Where were you?" RockerLane1110 said.

"I was backstage playing a song with Piko," Jay said.

"Oh," Carly and Anna (RockerLane1110) say in unison.

"Who's Piko?" Kayleigh and Xena say at the same time.

"You don't know who Piko is?" Carly said.

"That's her guitar," Two-Bit said after recovering from the riot.

"Uhhh… Jay, did you forget to take your medication?" Kayleigh asks.

"Maybe…" Suddenly nice men in white coats appear onstage with a big needle full of medication.

"NOOOOOO! I'm never gonna take my medication!" Jay yells as she runs offstage to escape the nice men in white coats.

"Okaaaaaaay. Well, why don't we just go into commercial now? Yeah, let's do that," Xena says. Then she turns to the audience and says, "Darry will be the first to sing after our sponsors tell you how much you need their product when you don't even know what the heck it's for!" Then the show goes into commercial.

_Commercial #1_

(It's one of those Big Brothers/Big Sisters commercials. Carly is with a little girl and they are dancing to Sean Paul's "We Be Burnin'" on the radio)

Carly and Little Girl: (singing along to the lyrics which I don't know what they are)  
Announcer: You don't have to be studying in the library to be a good big sister.  
Carly and Little Girl: (still singing along and dancing like there wasn't a video camera watching them)  
Jay: Carly, you do know we all can see you.  
Carly: What? (trips over radio and falls on face) Thanks JILL!  
Jay: Ha ha! You fell down!  
Carly: Ha ha! The men in white coats are right behind you!  
Jay: WHAT? (turns around to see the men and immediately runs away to who knows where)  
Announcer: You're such a good example to your little sister.  
Carly: I know I am.

_End Commercial_

RockerLane1110: Uhhhhh…. That was weird.

* * *

**A/N: I know it's a weird commercial. I forgot to say, these songs are actually parodies I've written up and some of them may not be that funny, but hey, I tried. Darry will be the first one to sing as soon as I finish writing his chapter. If you want to appear in this story (like if you wanna attack Johnny while he's singing), let me know in a review or whatever. I'll even take suggestions. R&R if you love this. And if you don't, R&R anyways and tell me how much _I_ need medication!**


	2. Don't Want You to be Perfect

**Chapter Two- Don't Want You to be Perfect**

**A/N: I have to admit. Darry has to be one of my favorite characters from the book. I know, I know. He hit Pony and he was too hard on Pony and he was the one who drove Ponyboy away and all that, but I still like him. Maybe it's because I'm also the oldest of three. Oldest siblings unite!**

Disclaimer: If I owned "The Outsiders," I would've been rich and famous which would mean I'd be too busy on a private jet with my friends going to Tokyo to even care about writing this story. And if I owned "American Idol," I would make Ryan make up his own lines instead of paying writers to write them for him. And if I owned Simple Plan's "Perfect," maybe my singing wouldn't be such crap.

* * *

"We're back, And we'll be getting ready to start the show right with Darrel, Darry, Curtis!" Xena said proudly. Then she turns to Darry who is sitting in the seat next to her. "Hi, Darry!" 

"Hey, Xena," Darry said.

"So, we've heard that the song you chose to sing tonight is dedicated to your little brothers. Is that true?"

"Yes, it is. Especially to Ponyboy because in the beginning we didn't get along so well. This is to show him that I really do care," Darry said.

"Awwwwww…" the crowd coos. Xena lets a little tear come out of her eye and rubs it off.

"That's beautiful," she says. In the background we hear Jay yelling backstage.

"I don't want to take medication! Nyah!"

"Jill, would you just take it? You're scaring all of us!" Carly yells. She is obviously aggravated.

"So, Darry, what is the song you'll be singing?" Xena asks pretending she can't hear what's going on backstage even though it's so obvious.

"Well, it's a parody by RockerLane--,"

"Getting old here! Would you just let the grease sing so we can get on with this?" Bob yelled from the judges' table

"Alright, alright. Everybody, up first is Darry Curtis with "Don't Want You to be Perfect!"

The lights dim as Darry goes to center stage and stands next to the microphone. A soft intro is heard first, then it becomes distorted and the lights flare up. Then the music is calm again and there is a single spotlight on Darry.

_"Hey, bro, look at me  
Sit back and talk to me  
Am I too hard on you_  
_At times?  
And do you think I  
Work all the time  
Trying to make a life for us?  
But it hurts when__  
I completely lose your trust  
_

_And now I try hard to keep you  
I just wanna raise you right  
I'm never gonna prove my love for you  
I never said that I don't care  
__But some things aren't fair_!

_We haven't lost out yet  
I can't lose you forever  
I don't want you to be_  
_Perfect  
It's not too late  
Our troubles, they'll pass  
I don't want you to be  
Perfect_

_I try not to think  
About the possibility  
Did you know that night  
I thought I lost you  
Through the days  
You were hiding  
I almost died myself  
And I never got a wink of sleep_

_And now I try hard to keep you  
I just wanna raise you right  
I'm never gonna prove my love for you  
I never said that I don't care  
But some things aren't fair_

_We haven't lost out yet  
I can't lose you forever  
I don't want you to be  
Perfect  
It's not too late  
Our troubles, they'll pass  
I don't want you to be  
Perfect_

_Things are gonna change soon  
I have told you before  
I promise I'll make it up to you  
Please don't clam up on me  
I can't believe it's been so long  
Just talk to me  
So I can understand!"_

The mellow music from the intro starts up again followed by heavy distortion. Then Darry sings the final chorus.

"_We haven't lost out yet  
I can't lose you forever  
I don't want you to be  
Perfect  
It's not too late  
Our troubles, they'll pass  
I don't want you to be  
Perfect_

_We haven't lost out yet  
I can't lose you forever  
I don't want you to be  
Perfect  
It's not too late  
Our troubles, they'll pass  
I don't want you to be_

_Perfect."_

The song is finished off with one final chord and applause is followed.

"Yay, Darry!"

"WOOT!"

"Encore!"

"Marry me, Darry!"

Randy gets ready to give his comments.

"It was alright, man. Maybe a little pitchy but it was good," Randy said in his best judge voice. Does anyone ever notice that the judges always say the word pitchy? Seriously, what's wrong with also saying off-key?

"I loved this performance, Darry! It was one of your best!" Cherry said cheerily like Paula always is.

Well, duh! It's his _only_ performance so far! Xena thinks.

"Well, I always thought that a Greaser couldn't possibly sing, but you did alright for one," Bob said.

Darry thanks the judges for their comments and Xena starts talking again.

"Well, I hope you liked Darry's performance! Dallas was supposed to have performed next but due to some technical problems, we had to delay it." Translation: RockerLane1110 still hasn't figured what Dally's going to sing. "So instead, Two-Bit will be up next after this commercial break!"

_Commercial #2_

(It's a Geico commercial. Jay is sitting on a park bench reading the latest NANA book when the gecko comes up beside her.)  
Gecko: Excuse me, Miss, but would you like to find out how you can save a bunch of money on car insurance?  
Jay: (keeps eyes on book) Nope.  
Gecko: (realizes that Jay has said the wrong line and whispers to her) Psst… you were supposed to say yes.  
Jay: (still with eyes on book)Why? I don't have a car.  
Gecko: This is a commercial. It doesn't matter.  
Jay: (finally looks up from book and realizes that she's been talking to a gecko the whole time) Eek! Why's the lizard talking to me?  
Gecko: I'm a gecko and I'm just a publicity stunt so let me just tell you about Geico.  
Jay: AHH! The gecko's talking to me! (calls to her right) Carly! Come quick! There's this scary gecko after me!  
Carly: (comes over annoyed looking) What is it this time?  
Jay: (points to gecko) This gecko talked to me!  
(Carly looks at the gecko for a second which is looking at her with innocent eyes)  
Carly: Jill, take your medication. PLEASE!  
Jay: NO! It really talked.  
Carly: Yeah… right.  
Anna (RL1110): What's going on?  
Jay: The gecko's talking to me!  
Anna: Gecko, shut up.  
Gecko: I just want to tell you how you can save a bunch of money on car insurance! Man, I don't get paid enough to deal with you guys!  
Carly: That gecko really is talking! SECURITY!  
(Kayleigh comes in and picks up the gecko and brings it somewhere else.)  
(At the bottom of the screen, it says: _No talking geckos were harmed in the making of this commercial_)  
Kayleigh: I don't get paid enough to do this.

_End commercial_

Carly: What the hell was that?

* * *

**A/N: This chapter sucked so flame me all you want. I am going through writer's block for this story, so until I figure out some new idea for this, I might not update this as often as you'd like. Sorry! But read and review, please!**


	3. Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs

**Chapter Three- Lifestyles of the Upper-Class Socs**

**A/N: Yeah, long time no update. I've been busy with my other story and I've been having writer's block for this one. But this story's back now! And it's time for Two-Bit to sing. Yay! Okay, I'll shut up now. (Jay is a girl by the way)**

Disclaimer: I don't own "The Outsiders," "American Idol" (I didn't really like Taylor. I wanted Chris Daughtry to win but he got voted out, and I swear Paula is drunk), or Good Charlotte's, "Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous," which I am parodying (is that a word?).

* * *

"OhMyGod! IjustDrankThisWholeJonesSodaWhichHasForty-EightGramsOfSugarInItSoI'mReallyReallyHyper! DamnI'mSugarHigh!" said the frenzied Jay as she held her empty Jones bottle. 

"Uhhhhh… can we get the nice men in white coats here?" Carly says as she slowly backs away from Jay.

"NO!"

"Hey, who took my Jones soda!" Kayleigh calls after looking the fridge that's backstage. Jay looks at the empty bottle in her hand.

"Oops."

"Welcome back to American Idol: Outsiders Style!" Xena W. Princess says as she continues the show unaware of what's going on backstage. "If any of you missed it, Darry just sang a heartfelt rendition of, 'Don't Want You to be Perfect!' And I am being forced to have writers write my lines 'cause some of the writers didn't like how I was hosting. Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that part. Oh, well. Two-Bit! Get down here so we can here you sing!"

A random writer comes out from backstage saying, "That wasn't what you were supposed to say!"

"So? It's more entertaining when it's not on script." The writer rolls her eyes and goes backstage again.

"I'm here everybody!" Two-Bit says as he rushes up onto the stage.

"Good, now tell us what you're singing before we run out of time. Or before people run out of interest."

"Okay, I'm singing this parody of a Good Charlotte song called--,"

Loud snoring is heard from the judges' table. Bob is seen pretending to sleep with drool coming out of his mouth. Gross.

"Aw, heck with it. Just listen (read?) and you'll get it," Two-Bit said.

"Well, everyone, here's Two-Bit Matthews with, 'Lifestyles of the Upper-Class Socs!'"

Two-Bit takes center stage and an upbeat drum rhythm is heard.

_"Always see them on the streets  
In their cars and SUVs  
The Socials who got all the breaks  
All they do is laugh and jeer  
At the long hair behind our ears__  
Saying that a haircut's what we need_

_Every day and every week  
They jump Greasers on the streets  
How are we supposed to survive?  
If I could spend a day or two  
Walking in their designer shoes  
Man that would be so cool  
So cool  
Cool"_

Two-Bit stares straight at the judges menacingly as he sings the chorus line.

"_Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs!  
They treat us like locusts  
Treat us like locusts  
With beer blast and madras shirts  
They're so rich; they don't have to work_

_Did you know if you were cool  
You could jump a grease  
And there's no such thing as the police?  
As long as you got the cash for bribery  
You know if you were caught  
And you were smoking weed  
A goddamn miracle is what you need  
You could always move out to the city_

_Every day and every week  
They jump Greasers on the streets  
How are we supposed to survive?  
If I could spend a day or two  
Walking in their designer shoes  
Man, that would be so cool  
So cool  
Cool_

Everybody sing!" Two-Bit says as he belts out the next chorus. Everyone is singing along with him. He shakes some hands as she's onstage and some girls faint after being touched by their favorite Greaser.

_"Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs  
They treat us like locusts  
Treat us like locusts  
With beer blast and madras shirts__  
They're so rich, they don't have to work."_

The same drum rhythm is heard for the bridge and Two-Bit songs out another chorus.

_"Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs  
They treat us like locusts  
Treat us like locusts  
With beer blasts and madras shirts__  
They're so rich; they don't have to work!_

_Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs  
We'll stay off your turf  
Just leave us alone!_

_Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs  
Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs  
Lifestyles of the Upper Class Socs!"_

A final drumbeat is heard before the song ends. A roar of applause came from the audience.

"Yay, Two-Bit!" the very excited fans call out! The judges get ready to do their… judging.

"It was very interesting but I don't think it was a good idea to make fun of us Socs if we're the ones judging you. I think it's unfair to say that about us Socs if you don't even know us," says the cynical Cherry. All the Cherry haters stick their tongues (and their middle fingers) at the back of the redhead's head. She doesn't notice a thing. Xena is holding back a giggle. Cherry still doesn't notice anything.

"It was okay. I enjoyed it even though you were slamming us like that. What the hell was that 'designer shoes' part about?" Randy said.

"I wouldn't know. RockerLane wrote this," Two-Bit answered.

"I was bored! That was the whole reason why this thing was even created!" shouts RockerLane1110 from backstage.

"Okay, this just proves why Greasers shouldn't be allowed onstage. They make fun of us but don't have the guts to challenge us to a fight!" Rob… eh… Bob said.

"BOO!" yells the crowd.

"What? I'm just saying what I thought!" Bob defended.

"You want a fight? Okay, you got one," Two-Bit said as he jumped off the stage.

He made mock impressions of kung-fu fighting. Bob rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, that scares me," he says sarcastically.

Suddenly, a random tomato hits Bob in the face. While he is caught by surprise, Two-Bit sucker punches him in the stomach. Before Bob can fight back, Kayleigh breaks up the fight.

"You guys can't fight here! There's too many people!" she says.

"Yeah, Two-Bit! So don't start anything!" Bob says as if he's won.

"If you guys want to fight, take it backstage!" Kayleigh finishes.

"With pleasure!" Two-Bit responds. He drags Bob across the floor and goes backstage with him. We hear crashing, pounding, and some glass shattering.

"You broke the Jones soda bottle!" Jay yells.

"What?" Kayleigh says as she goes backstage too to recover her soda.

"Jill, you bitch! You drank it all!" Kayleigh yells from backstage. More crashing and banging is heard.

"Uhhhh… this would be a great time for commercial, don't you think? Well, Dallas will be up next singing something that won't start another fight! I hope," Xena says as she tries to cut the scene short. The audience looks confused as more crashing is heard from backstage.

_Commercial #3_

(It's a car commercial for Mercedes-Benz. Carly is driving the car as carefully as she can)  
Carly: Wait! I don't have a license! I'm not supposed to be at the driver seat! How do you stop this thiiiiiiiiiiiing?  
(Carly hits the brakes suddenly, then wraps the car around a tree)  
Announcer: The Mercedes-Benz has been rated the safest car to be driving today!  
Carly: (airbag inflates) (sarcastically) Oh, I feel so safe.  
Announcer: This has been tasted by many crash dummies enough to be proven as easy to drive and nearly accident-prone… I mean proof!  
Carly: Nearly? And are you calling me a dummy?  
Announcer: You crashed the car.  
Carly: This was my ex-boyfriend's car. He broke my heart, so this is revenge.  
Announcer: Uhhh… yeah. Buy a Mercedes-Benz today! You won't be sorry!  
Carly: Until you wrap it around a tree.  
Announcer: Shut up.

_End Commercial_

Kayleigh: Was anyone else confused by that? Jill, you're buying me another soda!

* * *

**A/N: Sorry, guys. I'm bored and I have writer's block. This is a sucky chapter, and I have no idea why I put Bob and Two-Bit fighting or Jill and Kayleigh fighting. So if you're gonna flame me, go ahead because you'll only be telling me what I already know. For those of you who haven't read the author's note of the latest chapter of my other story, Someone to Lean On, I am going to be losing the Internet on May 31. That means I may not be able to update as often as I want to. I am really sorry for that. But I'll figure out some way to keep the story alive! (Jay, is your offer still good?) Anyways, R&R.**

**Xena: And for all you Dally lovers out there who wanted to appear in his chapter, we are under construction of that right now. (And thanks to Padme Snivvey for that awesome idea of parodying "I Write Sins Not Tragedies!")**


	4. I Save Lives Not Souls

**Chapter Four- I Save Lives Not Souls**

**A/N: Yeah, I updated again. As a heads up, I'm sorry if I offend any Hilary Duff lovers out there. Personally, I really can't stand her but that's just me the outcast. And I do like Avril's music. You'll get why I'm saying all this shit soon.**

Disclaimer: Sure, I own "The Outsiders" (favoritest book) and "American Idol" (I swear Paula is an alcoholic) and Panic! At the Disco's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" (love this song!). Yeah, right. And the world ended on 6-6-06. Oh, wait, we're still alive! (I don't own Raelee Angela Winston either. She's TheMaskedArtist's OC from her story, "Raelee.") (I also don't own any of the reviewers who appear in this chapter)

* * *

"Don't say the H word," Carly said. "Never say the H word as long as I am within one hundred feet of you!" 

"What? Hell?" Kayleigh said.

"Hell is not a swear. It is a place," Jay informed.

"We all know what she means," Anna said. Even though no one but Anna and Jay know what Carly is talking about.

"I think she means Hilary Duff, you guys," Two-Bit said as he "played" the piano. It was more like banging because he had nothing else to do. Boredom does weird things to people.

"NOOOOO! He said the H word!" Jay yelled.

"What the Hilary Duff are you doing Two-Bit? Carly is right here!" Anna said.

Carly is seen in the corner. She is in a feeble position with her knees up to her chest.

"Evanescence… Evanescence…. Wake me… up… inside…" Carly mutters. **(BTW. Don't own "Bring Me to Life" by Evanescence) **

Anna, Jay, and Kayleigh go after Two-Bit and wash his dirty mouth with soap. (Anna used Hilary Duff as a swear which is the right context anyways so they don't wash her mouth for it.)

"Ahhh! Soap in my mouth! It's cucumber scented!" Two-Bit yells.

"It'll teach you never to use the H word when we're around! Unless it's as a swear," Jay says. Johnny and Ponyboy walk in on the scene.

"You know what? I don't even want to know," Johnny says looking away.

"Welcome back Outsiders fans! We have another performance, this time by that hottie bad boy that everyone loves, Dallas Winston!" Xena says into the microphone.

"Wait, didn't you die?" Cherry asks.

"We went to the Afterlife department and convinced them to let us borrow Johnny, Dally, and Bob for the show! And they actually let us! Woot!" Xena said.

Cheers come from the crowd. All the Dally fans and the Johnny fans go wild. The Bob fans do nothing. Maybe that's because there are no Bob fans?

"Okay, Dally you're up. Anything you want to say before you go on?" Xena asks the blond-haired tow-headed seventeen-year-old.

"Well, I just want to--," Before Dally can finish; a greaserette appears out of nowhere next to Dally.

"Oh my God! Dally! You don't know me, but I'm cherrybombxox and I love you!" Then she mauls Dally over with hugs and kisses. **(Sorry cherrybombxox if this was not what you had in mind!)**

"Uhhh…SECURITY!" Xena yells.

"How many times are people going to call me?" Kayleigh says as she appears onstage. Then she sees the greaserette Dally mauler.

"Oh, boy," Kayleigh says sarcastically. The Dally fans become restless as cherrybombxox mauls their favorite greaser.

"No! No more riots!" Xena yells. Upon hearing this, Kayleigh quickly drags cherrybombxox off of Dally and directs her to her seat.

"And what if I don't?" cherrybombxox retorts.

"Then you'll have a mouthful of this," Kayleigh says indicating her fist. Since many of you don't know Kayleigh, let me tell you this: You don't want to be on the receiving end of any of her punches, playful or otherwise.

Cherrybombxox goes to her seat unhappily.

"Okaaaaaay… back to reality, what did you want to say, Dally?" Xena says.

"Well, I wanted to give a shout out to my little sister, Raelee. Oh, she's here right now!" Dally says pointing to the red-brown-haired girl sitting on Curly Shepard's shoulders.

"Hey, Dally!" she yells waving. Dally smiles at his little sister.

"Okay, we gotta get on with this. Will you just ell us what you're singing and why the Hilary Duff you chose it?" Xena said.

"I'm sing "I Save Lives Not Souls' because Padme Snivvey gave RockerLane1110 a really good idea of parodying 'I Write Sins Not Tragedies.'"

"Okay, here's Dally with 'I Save Lives Not Souls!'"

Dally takes center stage and the palm-muted notes are played.

_"Oh, well imagine  
As I'm driving across town with my two friends in the back seat  
And I can't help but to see__  
No, I can't help but to see flames rising from the church  
'The children are inside,__  
The children are inside!' says the chaperone to the teacher  
'Yes, but what a shame, what a shame__  
That Jerry is too fat'  
_  
_I'd barge in with a, 'Haven't you kids ever heard of  
Saving your own damn lives?'  
No it's much better to face these kinds of things with a hint of  
Courage and stupidity  
I'd barge in with a, 'Haven't you kids ever heard of  
Saving your own damn lives?'__  
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a hint of…_

_Oh, well in fact, well I'll look at it this way  
I mean technically we just risked our own lives  
This calls for a rumble so bring on the fights  
Oh, well in fact, well I'll look at it this way  
I mean technically we just risked our own lives  
This calls for a rumble so bring on the fights, bring on the fights!_

_I'd barge in with a, 'Haven't you kids ever heard of  
Saving your own damn lives?'  
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a hint of  
Courage and stupidity  
I'd barge in with a, 'Haven't you kids ever heard of  
Saving your own damn lives?'  
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a hint of  
Courage and stupidity…  
Again…_

_I'd barge in with a, 'Haven't you kids ever heard of  
Saving your own damn lives?'  
No, it' much better to face these kinds of things with a hint of  
Courage and stupidity  
I'd barge in with a, 'Haven't you kids ever heard of  
Saving your own damn lives?'  
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a hint of  
Courage and  
Stupidity_

_Agaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnn…"_

Dally holds the last night and then a roar of applause are heard.

"Yay!"

"Rock on!"

"When does the album drop?"

As the audience settles down, the judges give their input on Dally's performance.

"I thought it was very good. But maybe it could've used a little more personality," Cherry said.

"What? Dally was great! Are you deaf?" says an audience member.

"Oh, great," Dally says exasperated at the thought of another crazy fan. "Who are you, now?"

"I'm mrs.patrickswayze!"

"Your name is mrs.patrickswayze and you're a Dally fan?" Xena asks.

"I could change it to mrs.mattdillon," mrs.patrickswayze says.

"That's alright. Are you going to maul me?"

"Can I?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with whip cream on top?"

"Noooooo…"

"With a cherry?"

"How many times must I say it?"

"Okay, movin' on. What do you have to say, Randy?" says Xena.

"I thought it was pretty good. We should have more punk rock music in this show. Maybe Avril Lavigne should make a guest appearance!"

"Avril's not punk!" yells Anna from backstage.

"Huh? I thought she was," Randy said.

"She's not punk."

Some preppy girls said, "I thought she was punk. She dresses that way."

Jay intervenes. "She. Is. Not. Punk. People. Get it through your heads! If you want punk get the Sex Pistols!"

"Or the Descendents!" Anna adds.

"Who cares about them? All of RockerLane's music sucks!" Bob says.

"Who the hell asked you?" Anna yells.

"Anna, it's Hilary Duff. Don't say hell on national internet," Jay says.

"WTF? National internet?"

"It's, 'What the Dr. Phil,' Anna," says Carly.

"Why are we making a big deal of my swearing? Kayleigh swears more than me."

"Kayleigh's a security guard," Jay says.

"So? _You _swear more than me. Carly swears too."

"True…"

"Guys, we're running out of time. We need to get to commercial," Xena says.

"I haven't said anything yet!" Bob said.

"You've said enough! Cut to commercial!" Anna shouts.

_Commercial #4_

(It's a VO5 commercial. You know the hair product. Yeah, Jay is supposed to be endorsing it but…)

Jay: AHHHH! My hair stinks after using the VO5 shampoo!  
VO5 Representative: Well, is your hair more fuller and bouncy?  
Jay: No. And why the Hilary Duff would I want my hair to be bouncy?  
VO5 Rep: To sell the product. Now, we're paying you to endorse our product so…  
Jay: Why would I endorse something that makes my hair smell like it's been in dog shit?  
VO5 Rep: People don't know that yet…  
Jay: What do you mean "Yet"? Is this made of dog shit?  
VO5 Rep: Well…  
Jay: (Looks at ingredient list on bottle)  
VO5 Rep: No, don't look at it!  
Jay: Dog excrements. This really is made of dog shit!  
VO5 Rep: But it makes your hair fluffier!  
Jay: (checks hair for fluffiness) Nope. No fluffy. You guys are liars.  
VO5 Rep: But we're paying you…  
Jay: Ha! L'Oreal would pay me more! As a matter of fact… (flips open cell phone and dials a number) Hello? L'Oreal? Is your endorsement offer still good? It is? I'll be there! By the way, what's your product made of?  
(Jay walks off set leaving the VO5 Rep on her own. Out of desperation she…)  
VO5 Rep: Anyone want to endorse our shampoo made of dog excrements? There's good money…

_End commercial_

Xena: What the Hilary Duff was that?

* * *

**A/N: Heh. Yeah, the commercial. Jay, you remember when you were complaining about how the VO5 shampoo made your hair smell weird? Here's your revenge. (But seriously guys, it smelled weird) Anyways, I hope I didn't offend any Hilary Duff fans or any Avril fans. Avril's music is good, but she's not punk. End of story. Hilary Duff… where to start? Read and review, please!**


	5. Stop Fighting

**Chapter Five- Stop Fighting**

**A/N:Whoo. This took a long time to get into the freakin' document manager! Did anyone else have that problem? Okay, since I completely spaced on putting guycrazy on the last chapter (Sorry! Brain doesn't work!), she will be hanging out with Dally backstage while the rest of us are doing yoga (You'll see that later). Anyways, I don't think I'll be bashing anyone here, but if I do, I'm sorry to anyone who may actually like these celebrities I make fun of.**

Disclaimer: S.E. Hinton owns "The Outsiders." (Hail the mighty writer!) Everyone knows that the closest I've gotten to owning "American Idol" (Paula is drunk I tell you!) has been owning a Kelly Clarkson CD. And I do own a Yellowcard CD but that does not mean I own the song, "Breathing." I don't own anyone else who may be a real person dead or alive (most likely, they're alive). I don't own McDonald's either and I don't plan to.

* * *

Dally goes backstage to relax. Relax? Yeah, right. Dallas Winston has too many fans to actually be relaxed. A mysterious figure follows him backstage. Who could it be? (Dum dum duum) 

"Hi Dally!" the figure says.

"Huh?" Dally says as he turns around to see who is stalking him. It turns out to be another fangirl from FanFiction. See how overjoyed Dally is? Not really, but it's interesting to see how everyone tortures the guy.

"Hi, I'm guycrazy, but you can call me Alicia," she said. She has an autograph book, a Polaroid camera, and a big wide smile.

"Uh… nice to meet you," Dally said edging his way out.

"Wait, can I…"

"If you maul me…"

"…get your autograph?" she says holding out a pen and her autograph book. She's still smiling. **(I'm really sorry if you don't like to smile, guycrazy, and if you're cursing me out right now for this, I'm really sorry).**

"Uh… yeah. Why not?" Dally says uneasily as he takes the pen and book. He signs his name on the page. I really wouldn't know what Dally's signature would look like so I hope you guys have good imaginations!

"Hey, can I get a picture with you too?" guycrazy says.

'Okay, sure…" Guycrazy takes her camera and stands next to Dally and smiles for the camera as Dally has the most confused look on his face. The camera flashes and Dally asks, "Is there anything else you want?"

"Yeah, can I shake your hand?"

"Oh, brother…" Dally says. He shakes guycrazy's hand.

"I'm never washing this hand again!" Guycrazy runs off without another word.

"That was weird. How the hell did all these girls find me?"

Meanwhile, Carly, Anna, and their friend, Josh (he arrived in the middle of Dally's song but it was never mentioned), are doing yoga. Carly is in a meditating position with her legs crossed and her index fingers touching her thumbs to make an O with her hand. No one knows how to explain why she is floating three inches off the ground. Anna is trying a yoga position Carly taught her.

"Is this supposed to be relaxing?" Anna says. Her body is the shape of a pretzel. Literally.

"Not really…" Carly starts.

"What do you mean?" Anna says.

"Anna, do you see me meditating here? I'm trying to concentrate. Ohhmmm…"

"Well, just tell me how to untwist myself!"

"Untwist?"

"Untwist, untangle, just get me back to normal."

"When were you normal?"

"HOW DO I GET OUT OF BEING A PRETZEL?"

"Uhhh…"

"You don't know?"

"Well, you're bugging me too much! You see Josh over here not bugging me and letting me concentrate?"

"You might want to look again."

"What? Why?"

"ZzzzzzzzZzzzzzzZzzzzzz…"

"JOSH!"

Josh finally wakes up in a daze.

"Huh? What?"

"Uh, help with the pretzel problem?" Anna says. No one listens to her. As usual.

"Welcome back. everybody! Man, it's been a while. Anyways, we've got the awesome Sodapop Curtis up next!" Xena says into the microphone. Has anyone noticed that she's still wearing her Good Charlotte shirt and ripped jeans?

"You still look like a Gothic Greaser!" Bob yells.

"Not this again…" Xena rolls her eyes. She looks around and realizes Soda isn't there. "Um, guys, where's Soda?

The whole audience searches for the middle Curtis brother. He is nowhere to be found.

"Where's Soda? I need to see Soda!" says mrs.patrickswayze.

"Yeah, we paid good money for these tickets!" says another audience member, Kaligirl05.

"This was free, remember?" says the audience member next to her, who happened to be Maddiecake.

"I know, but I wanted to make them feel guilty."

Soda runs across the stage to where Xena was standing.

"Where the Hilary Duff have you been?" Xena asks him. "Another riot could've started."

"Sorry. I was at the john when Carly's friend, Josh, starts banging the door saying that I had to be on stage now! Then I had to stop to ask Anna why she was shaped like a pretzel and-,"

"Alright, already! Just get on with this stupid show and stop chatting with the Gothic Greaser!" Bob yelled. Someone threw bouncy balls at him. No it wasn't someone from the audience but someone from backstage with dyed black hair and looked a little like Jay…

"Okay, Soda! Give it all you got!" Xena said.

"Isn't it 'Give it your best shot'?" Kaligirl05 said.

"Can I start now? We're running late," Soda said.

"Go ahead! Here's Soda with 'Stop Fighting'!"

Finally, the band starts to play. There are violins (a must for a Yellowcard song), guitars (a must for any rock song) and drums and a bass.

_"Covers hide my head  
But I can never sleep  
I have tried everything  
And I'm tired of counting sheep  
And even though you're right here  
I still can't seem to see  
That what we have right now__  
May not always be_

_And I can hear you crying  
And I'm trying  
To wake you up  
Can't you see I'm dying  
From the fighting  
Guys, can't you stop?"_

"Soda, I love you!" screams mrs.patrickswayze. Wasn't she just screaming for Dally in the last chapter?

_"Words of shame exchanged  
With each and every fight  
I've tried to even things  
But now I'm losing sight  
I couldn't live to take a side  
When neither one is right  
Just listen to each other__  
And maybe we just might_

_And I can hear you crying  
And I'm trying  
To wake you up  
Can't you see I'm dying  
From the fighting  
Guys, can't you stop?_

_I can hear you crying!  
I'm trying  
To wake you up!_

_Could you stop it with the  
Fighting  
I'm dying  
From it all!_

_Is this how it's supposed to be when everything is done?  
I don't how to help so I decide to run  
I know that everything is gone; nothing will ever be the same  
The family I have right now is the one I hope will stay_

_And I can hear you crying  
And I'm trying  
To wake you up  
Can't you see I'm dying  
From the fighting  
Guys, can't you stop?_

_I can hear you crying  
I'm trying  
To wake you up!_

_Could you stop it with the  
Fighting  
__I'm dying_  
_From it all!"_

Another roar of applause comes from the audience.

"YAY SODA!" screams mrs.patrickswayze.

"Soda, you were awesome!" yells Kaligirl05.

"Can I get an autograph? Or a hug?" asks little EllE lost.

Padme Snivvey and Marauder and The Q are also screaming at the top of their lungs. Ruto177 is cheering for an encore while Weasleygrlz07 and keRUshii00 are yelling Soda's name rhythmically.

"Soda! Soda! Soda!" sweetheart64 decides to join in. "SODA! SODA! SODA!" Soon everyone, including BodomsGirl, silverstagbeauty, Kawaii-Chibi-Kai, Waterbender-Katara, Johnny Greaser Girl16, Izziecakes, and even cherrybombxox are chanting Soda's name.

"Geez, how many Soda fans are there?" Rugrats101 asks.

"I don't know. It seems like everyone loves him," says TheMaskedArtist.

"I wonder what'll happen when Johnny comes on," says Rugrats101.

"Two words: Mass chaos," replies TheMaskedArtist.

"You know, we don't even have time for the judges' words!" says Xena. "I guess all this cheering can qualify as the judges' comments. Let's go to commercial!"

"Wait! We still need to say something!" Randy says.

"We don't have time!" Xena answers.

"But we still need to say something that totally doesn't influence what other people think about Soda's performance!" Cherry says.

"We gotta get to commercial!" says Xena.

"Let us talk, Gothic Greaser!" Bob yells.

"Cut to commercial already, dammit!"

_Commercial #5_

(It's a McDonald's commercial with Ronald McDonald. What else is new?)  
Ronald McDonald: Try our new Quadruple Whopper! And don't forget, kids, to stay active and be healthy!  
Josh: Isn't that a little ironic?  
Ron McD: What is?  
Carly: The fact that you're selling a product that's been known to be bad for your health and you're telling your customers to stay healthy at the same time.  
Ron McD: Our products do not cause harm to anyone!  
Carly: Have you ever see Super Size Me?  
Ron McD: That was full of blatant lies!  
Josh: Says you.  
Rugrats101: How about instead of eating foods that contains actual animals in them, try being healthy and eating a salad.  
Jay: Yeah!  
Carly: When did you get here?  
Jay: Just now.  
Rugrats101: Where have you been anyways?  
Jay: Playing B.S. with Kayleigh. So what's with the stupid clown?  
Ron McD: Are we going to get back to selling the burger?  
Everyone: NO!  
Ron McD: What was the point of this commercial then?  
Jay: I don't know.  
Josh: Is it over yet?  
Carly: Now it is.

_End Commercial_

Jay: Man, we suck at advertising!

* * *

**A/N: Hah! Sorry, Rugrats101 if I might've offended you with your part in the commercial (someone had to suggest it). I also put in other reviewers who might not have asked to be in the story but since everyone in the audience is an Outsiders fan, I thought, "What the hell? Might as well put everyone else in too." If you don't want to appear in this chapter, let me know. If I didn't put you in, I promise to put you in a future chapter! I'm really sorry if you are not included in this one though. This is longer than most chapters because of how long it took me to update. Hope you liked it! Read and review even if you want to tell me I suck at writing!**


	6. Sugar, We're Driving Down

**Chapter Six- Sugar, We're Driving Down**

**A/N: I couldn't think of anything for Steve so I had to go through my CD collection and I found Fall Out Boy's "From Under the Cork Tree" album. And that's when this idea hit. Now, personally, I don't like Steve that much but that might be because the moviemakers only gave him five lines throughout the movie! I demand a better script!**

**P.S. I'm high on Sailor Moon and heat at the moment.**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for this library card in which I use to check out "The Outsiders" with several times.

* * *

"Whee! Sailor Moon Live Action!" says Jill/Jay/Roxie to some people. 

"Since when have we had this computer here?" asks Kayleigh.

"Since when have we had the Internet?" asks Carly.

The whole backstage crew was watching the Sailor Moon Live Action show on YouTube in the computer. Even Josh is watching. Look how comfortable he is being strapped to a chair being forced to watch the corniness of an Anime played by real people.

"Why did you strap me to a chair?" Josh yelled.

"Shh… The theme song's playing!" Anna said.

Now the theme song to the Sailor Moon live action show is in Japanese. So when the group started singing it, it sounded a little like this:

"Gan! Gan! Something something something. La la la la la. La la la la la la la! La la la. Something something…" Yeah, you wouldn't really want to be there.

"What are you guys watching?" Darry asked.

"Sailor Moon! Shush!" Jay said.

"Okay. Why?"

" 'Cause it's so funny!"

"Josh, why are you watching it?" Dally asked.

"Can you not see me strapped here? Help me!"

"Aww, you know you like this Josh!" Carly said.

"Real men don't watch that stuff," Dally said.

"Wait. Pony, Johnny, why are you guys watching it? Two-Bit, you too," Darry said. Pony, Johnny, and Two-Bit are also watching the computer screen, and they're not strapped. Unless you count Jay's death grip on Johnny.

"Jay forced me to watch this with her! She won't let me go!" Johnny said. Jay liked Johnny. A lot.

"Hey let go of my Johnnycakes!" sweetheart64 said.

"_Your_ Johnnycakes?" Darry, Dally, and Pony said in unison.

"Ahem, did I say _my _Johnnycakes? Well, I meant, um…"

"How did you get in here?" Anna asked.

"I'll take care of this," Kayleigh said. She got up and "kindly" led sweatheart64 to the audience. "No entrance here without a pass or permission from RockerLane!"

"Why RockerLane?" asked Kaligirl05.

"She created this thing."

Anyways, back to Sailor Moon…

"Johnny forced me to watch this with him since Jay won't let go of him," Pony said even though you know he likes watching girls kick youma (monster) butt.

"So what's your excuse, Two-Bit?" Dally asked.

"You know I'm a sucker for blonds."

"Uhh, better get your eyes checked 'cause those girls don't' got blond hair," Soda pointed out.

"Yet," Two-Bit said. (For those who haven't seen the Sailor Moon live action show on YouTube, the girls are all black-haired before they transform into their Sailor form, which is when they have colored wigs in the strange styles that were in the cartoon version. Sailor Moon ends up having blond pigtails after she transforms) Then the transforming sequence occurred. "Oh, now I see."

"Hey, everyone!" said another girl. It was Rugrats101.

"Hey, I just said no entrance unless-,"

"Yeah, I know. I have a pass. Anyways, Xena's wondering where Steve is. Isn't he supposed to be performing right now?" Rugrats101 saw Johnny in Jay's grasps. "JOHNNYCAKE!" She swiftly grabs Johnny from Jay's hold.

"AHH! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"Man, we need a bodyguard for poor Johnny," Anna said.

"I'll protect him!" Rugrats101 and Jay say at the same time.

"No, I will!" says Izziecakes. How the hell did everyone get here?

"No, I'll protect him!" says JoHnNy CaStLe.

"No, I will!" says itsallaboutme.

"I'm perfect for the job!" Maddiecake says.

"How did everyone get in here?" Kayleigh yells.

"Xena sent us to look for Steve!" says xAshNightx.

"Wow, you guys are doing a fantastic job," Carly said sarcastically.

"You know what, everyone out! We'll look for Steve ourselves!" says Kayleigh.

Everyone groans and leaves. "Now where is Steve?" Anna said. Carly shrugs.

"He's sleeping, I think. I'll go wake him," Soda said.

"No, I will," Jay said. She got up and went to Steve's dressing room. Now a _normal _person would wake Steve up gently. Jay got creative and used a frying pan.

"Ow! What the f---?"

"You're up. Get onstage!"

"Steve, are you okay?" Xena asked when Steve got on the stage.

"Except for these stars circling my head, I'm fine."

"All right, well it's your turn to perform so take the mic and go!"

"Where's Johnny?" says Kawaii-Chibi-Kai.

"It isn't his performance yet. He'll be up shortly but first we have Steve!"

"But we want Johnny!" says DRAMAsaurus.Rex.

"YEAH! WE WANT JOHNNY! WE WANT JOHNNY!" the crowd chanted.

"Well, you're getting Steve!" Steve said.

"Just start singing and maybe they'll be more patient. Okay, everybody, this is Steve with 'Sugar, We're Driving Down'!" Xena says before running offstage in order to avoid any pitchforks that could follow.

The band started playing loudly. Well, what'd you expect?

"_Is this more than you expected yet?  
I've been waxing the side of your new Corvair_  
'_Cause it was really shitty  
Lean on the hood  
At the drive-in theatre  
I'm just a face at the DX  
But you're just a pain in my ass._

_Righty Loose, Lefty Tight  
We're always speeding up  
And speeding at the red light_

_We're driving downtown, not homeward bound  
And sugar, we're driving down the highway  
I'll be your number one mechanic  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic_

_Is this more than you expected yet?  
Oh, don't mind me I'm listening in on your conversation  
Wishing to be the subject of your talk  
Hang with my friends  
While I'm on my break  
I'm just a face at the DX  
But you're just a pain in my ass_

_Righty Loose, Lefty Tight  
We're always speeding up  
And speeding at the red light_

_We're driving downtown, not homeward bound   
And sugar we're driving down the highway_  
_I'll be your number one mechanic  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic_

_We're driving downtown, not homeward bound   
And sugar we're driving down the highway  
I'll be your number one mechanic  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic."_

The heavy guitars got softer as Steve sang another chorus.

_"Downtown, not homeward bound  
And sugar we're driving down the highway  
I'll be your number one mechanic__  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic."_

Backup singers started joining in.

_We're driving downtown not homeward bound  
(Crash into the wall)  
And sugar we're driving down the highway  
(Crashing to the floor)  
I'll be your number one mechanic  
(Crash into the wall)  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic_

_We're driving downtown! (Downtown!)  
Downtown! (Downtown!)  
We're driving downtown! (Downtown!)  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic_

_We're driving downtown, not homeward bound  
(Crash into the wall)  
And sugar, we're driving down the highway  
(Crashing to the floor)  
I'll be your number one mechanic  
(Crash into the wall)  
I can get you two hubcaps so you don't have to panic!"_

The last chords are played and the endless song is done. Now, it's time for the judges. But first, a few messages from the fans.

"You were awesome, Steve!" from AlbinoMonkeyC.

"I love Fall Out Boy! You did them proud!" says some Fall Out Boy fan. (Reviewers, add your name here if you do like Fall Out Boy but I didn't know who liked them so I didn't put a specific name)

Now it's time for the judges. Really, now it's time.

"Bum bum buuuum!" Xena jokes.

"Very funny," says Steve.

"Well, I just have to say, how many times does that chorus have to be repeated? Come on, we don't have to hear it ten times that you're driving downtown!" says Randy.

"I think it was a good song. Although was repeated a bit much, don't you think?"

"RockerLane thought it would be rip-off to cut parts of the song off so she made me sing the whole damn thing."

"It _would _be a rip-off! Ever tried to sing along to a song but then get mixed up because they had to shorten the song for their own purposes? It's annoying!" Anna yells from backstage.

"You suck. Next victim," says Bob. Xena karate chops him on the head.

"Say something else!" Xena says.

"Pork chop." Xena again karate chops him.

"Xena, let's just cut into commercial. We can beat up Bob later," says Carly.

"We?"

"Okay, _I _will beat up Bob later," Carly says.

"Why you?"

"Because I said so."

"That makes no sense!"

"CUT TO COMMERCIAL! says Bob and everyone else. And so, we cut to commercial and we hear Steve kicking Bob's ass. This makes so much sense!

_Commercial #6_

(It's a commercial for Tag body spray. Bob is holding a can of Tag)  
Announcer: Warning: Tag Body Spray may attract unwanted attention from the opposite sex. You have been warned.  
Bob: Okay. (Sprays on Tag Body Spray)  
Marauder and The Q: Eew, Bob! You reek!  
Silverstagbeauty: Ahh! My nose!  
Carly: My God, it stinks!  
Jay: (Pretends to dies with her hands on her throat) Can't. Breath. Too. Gross.  
Kayleigh: (Comes in with a skunk to hide the smell)  
Everyone: Much better!  
(Then Johnny is seen holding a can of Tag)  
Rugrats101: YAY! JOHNNY!  
Jay: (Miraculously comes back to life) YAY! IT'S JOHNNY! ALL IS WELL!  
(Both Jay and Rugrats101 smother Johnny. Soon everyone else besides Anna, Kayleigh, and Carly, is smothering him.)  
Johnny: Wait! I didn't even put the spray on yet!  
Izziecakes: You don't have to!  
Carly: Need a little help?  
Johnny: YES! (Carly goes over to try to save Johnny but ends up being swallowed in by the mob)  
Kayleigh and Anna: Uhh…  
Johnny and Carly: HELP US!  
(Kayleigh and Anna go over to help but are also swallowed in.)  
Announcer: Don't say I didn't warn you!  
Kayleigh, Johnny, Carly, and Anna: SHUT UP AND HELP US!

_End Commercial_

Josh: Um, I'm still strapped here.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry this didn't come out too good. But I have great news! No, I did not save a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. Okay the big news is: Johnny's chapter is next.**

**The Johnny fangirls: AIIIIIIEEEEEE!**

**I think I just lost my hearing. Anyways, read and review!**

**The Johnny fangirls: AIIIIIIEEEEEEE!**


End file.
